There’s a proverb that says, “If you want to go quickly, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” But guess what? It’s not just anyone that can or will go the distance with you. We’re all designed differently, with our unique personalities, goals, dreams and ambitions.
It’s also important to realise that not everyone will speak your language all the time. There may be a season when you and your friends all ‘get’ each other and your conversations are about the same things. Chances are though there will come a point (or several points) where you find you’re starting to think differently and want different things.
Maybe some friends want to talk about people and you want to talk about concepts and projects. Perhaps you’d rather discuss investments and how to create wealth not just ways to spend money and your crew doesn’t?
When that starts happening, it’s time to realise that your seasons aren’t in sync anymore. That doesn’t mean your friends have suddenly become bad, but it does mean you need to consciously create a network that meets the needs of who you are becoming/want to be.
So what do you do when this realisation hits you? You may want to ask yourself a few key questions:
- Have I taken the time to figure out what I really want at this point in time? – Just because you know something doesn’t fit well right now doesn’t mean you should be open to just any alternative. Who do you want to be? What do you want out of life? When you’ve done this, the next step is to clearly articulate where the gaps are: what could potentially stop you from getting there?
- Who’s mentoring me? – Have you taken the time to seek out someone whose lifestyle and values reflect where you want to be? Have you reached out to that person? The worst that can happen is that the person may not necessarily have time to actively mentor you, but don’t let that discourage you. Set up an appointment to spend 30mins to an hour with the person and come prepared with the questions you want answered. Even if the person does agree to mentor you, don’t just show up at the meeting without a plan – make the time count!
- Who am I mentoring? – You know more than you think you do. There are certain experiences you’ve had that are the answer(s) to someone’s problem. Be open to helping others within reasonable boundaries. I can almost guarantee you that you’ll learn a lot from those you choose to teach/coach/mentor. Getting different perspectives has a way of opening our minds, teaching us more about ourselves and making us more tolerant of others.
- Am I really ready to take action? – Talk is cheap. You can spend all day everyday with the brightest and best, but if you don’t actually put anything you’ve learned into action, you’re guaranteed to remain at ground zero.
- How do I stay connected to my crew? – Just because you’re moving at a different pace doesn’t necessarily mean you should throw your friends away. Someone once told me that she called some people to tell them that they were holding her back and so she wouldn’t be taking their calls anymore. Personally I don’t believe that was the best way to handle the situation. It would be better to find a mature way to create some distance. Seasons change and you may get back into sync again with some old friends. And even if you don’t there’s really no reason to create unnecessary bad blood. Life’s too short for undue drama.
Take the time to create a network that’ll move you into your purpose and help you thrive. You’re far too valuable to permit anything less in your life.
